It’s been nearly a year since I wrote here. I’m still in counselling training and finding the challenge of dealing with experience rather than just getting to grips with theory. I’ve been away on residential with our group – going to the ‘dark places’ and hugging it out – which I’m sure is standard for these experiences and honestly is not intended as flippant or disrespectful. Some stuff really was scary to get immersed in. I have started real counselling with Real People, rather than practice sessions with my fellow students, though I’ve yet to have a client keep their appointment. I have met with my supervisor and I found myself babbling like an idiot to convince her (or me?) that I am competent and safe enough to be let out amongst REAL PEOPLE to poddle around in their stuff. Yet I haven’t written about any of these moments here…
I’m working on research around reflective thinking, writing and practice and have recently published an article on the challenges of teaching reflective practice so you would think that I would be reflecting like a demon everywhere! Sadly no – the biggest problem I’m finding with reflective writing is that I am extremely good at telling others that we should be doing it but really trying very hard to do other things (cleaning shoes, clearing out the shed, reading trashy novels etc. etc ad nauseum) instead. I am the Queen of prevarication where reflective writing is concerned and I am committing the cardinal sin of
“…superficial discussion of having paused for thought from time to time…” (Thompson & Pascal, 2012, p.311).
as far as my reflective Learning Reviews are concerned. Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy to explore my experiences as I’m training to be a counsellor but I’m not sure that I’m exploring deeply enough to gain some real learning from them.
There is something liberating about writing here though. The anonymity might allow me to be freer in my exploration perhaps? The fact that it isn’t being graded or explicitly judged – or even read – by anyone else gives me a freedom to write any way that I want? I do know that it feels good to be back…
Thompson, N. & Pascal, L. (2012) Developing critically reflective practice. Reflective Practice; International and Multidisciplinary Perspectives. Vol, 13 Issue 2, 2012. pp. 311-325