Opening channels #5

I was observed during my counselling skills session last night.  Working with J is getting easier – I’m opening up more for her and I feel like she feels more relaxed with me.  I felt okay about being observed.

My tutor’s feedback was to ‘challenge, take a risk and trust the process’.  I know that I am competent and safe.  I work to do no harm and this make it difficult for me to judge when to challenge the ‘client’.  I take the safer person-centred option by going with the client and not really challenging or questioning the incongruence or emotions I perceive.  I could feel the ‘stuck’ that J was experiencing in her experience but shied away from asking how she would feel if she could not get ‘unstuck’, preferring to stay safely with the describing she was doing.  I know that I need to be helping the client focus on the feelings but I’m scared of getting into analysis and diagnosis rather than accepting and validating.  As Rogers points out, if I am to accept the client’s feelings, I must be ready to respond to the emotional content rather than the intellectual content of the client’s story.  J was showing me anger, frustration, resentment and disappointment with the key players in her story and I was drifting around the surface only tentatively expressing and checking what I was seeing.

I must start to trust what I see, hear and feel then risk checking it with the client.  He or she will only go where he or she wishes to go and I can risk being wrong.  Next week I try being uncertain, risking the questions and trusting J to go where it feels right for her.


One thought on “Opening channels #5

  1. coletteann February 14, 2015 / 11:29 pm

    Thanks for reading and liking. If you’re ever of the mind to comment, please go for it – I’d appreciate your view


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